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News In Brief- Knowing Me, Knowing Who?

fatherted

Rebekah Brooks (former News of the World) has said this week she didn’t know phone hacking was illegal and that she couldn’t have that fella’s croissant and his new Lamborghini without asking either. She may have known what the celebs were getting up to on their nights off but she didn’t know she wasn’t meant to know. Ah. God love her.

Similarly Peter Robinson, up north, didn’t know the PSNI had sent a letter to a Republican “on-the-run” to tell him he wasn’t wanted anymore. Peter immediately called for a judicial review and issued a threat to resign, a threat that sank faster than Jesus’ pint after forty days in the desert. Not that Peter’s threat actually meant anything to anyone, except perhaps his wife.

But while the big heads in government have been worrying about such things as inside-undercover action in the guards and who knew who was doing what to who, and where, and when, real things have been going on in this country!

A woman has settled her claim in the courts that she was run-over by an “on-the-run” milk float, such as that driven by Father Dougal in an episode of Father Ted. The woman, 59, of Ennis, claimed she was pinned under the float as it careered off course during the annual ‘Father Ted’ festival in Kilfenora, Co Clare, in 2008 as fundraisers recreated the milk float ‘Speed’ take off from a Ted episode.

And there was more danger on the roads this week as one young man was charged with dangerous driving and another for entering a vehicle while it was moving. By doing a handstand, through the sun-roof. While his brother drove. Past some Guards. Seriously like? What goes through your brain before you start doing hand-stands through sun-roofs? Maybe the identical twin brothers, 21, from Donegal were trying to recreate that scene from Father Ted, you know when he . . .

A farmer in Cork may face prosecution after he cut down some potentially life-threatening trees on his land. After the recent and ridiculous weather a tree fell, close to Nicholas Stout’s home and blocked the main Dunmanway-Drimoleague road. Cork County Council engineers did a survey (“er, that’s 1, 2, 3 . . . three trees there John”) and suggested Mr Stout cut down 20 trees on his property. He willingly complied and while wielding his chainsaw took down a few more for good measure. Only after felling the things did an inspector from the Department of Agriculture turn up and tell him he had acted illegally, was not allowed to fell the trees and could now be looking at hard time. But he didn’t know that! Neither did Rebekah Brooks! Or Peter Robinson! NIB will resign unless there’s an inquiry, oh, wait there has been? Good. The department have decided not to proceed.

Anyway, that’s that then. Talk to you next week, be good.

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