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Posts Tagged ‘ Danny Healy-Rae ’

A Year in Brief: Part Two

sineadandmiley

Part two of NIB’s yearly round-up because 2013 was just too good! (Read part one here).

Dublin’s new bridge, crossing the Liffey at Marlborough Street and connecting Luas lines on each side of the river, was on the lookout for a name. A list of 85 possibilities was suggested by the public which was then shortlisted by Dublin City Council to 17. Some suggestions in a comments thread on The Times website included: Bosco Bridge; Daniel Day Luas Bridge (nice); Da Plain People O’Ireland Bridge; Jedward Bridge; and NIB favourite, the Feckin’ Bridge. Continue reading

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A Year in Brief: Part One

muff

What a year it’s been; Hitler birthday cakes, mutant rats, and Bob Geldof off to space! To celebrate the end of another 365 days here are some of NIB’s favourite stories of the year.

Kicking off the year in festive spirit a man in Derry was fined after stealing a CCTV camera which “became his friend”. Police found Peter Morrison, 24, drunk and “petting” the camera as they arrived to arrest him. CCTV pets are for life not just for Christmas. Continue reading

News in Brief : Backhanders And Blackouts

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NIB is sure we’ve covered this before, but hey, Irish women are the best looking in the world and that’s cause for celebration (drink based traditionally). The ranks made up by a dating site, aptly called BeautifulPeople.com weren’t so positive about Irish men though, ranking them third ugliest on the planet. It’s a small positive though as a few years ago they were ranked the ugliest. Sorry lads.

Talking of beautiful Irish things, we’re going to start selling off our heritage sites to the highest bidder. In yet another example of the Government trying to claw back the cash they splurged on champagne and caviar, they are now going to lease out sites like Dublin and Kilkenny Castles, Derrynane House and Doneraile Wildlife Park to the most persuasive tender. Apparently the rules are that any new commercial usage plans must be in check with the historical heritage of the site so no casinos or hotels will be permitted, unless the brown envelope’s thick enough. Minister for Public Service Reform Brian Hayes said: ‘I don’t know how successful it’s going to be, I have to be very frank.’ Continue reading

News in Brief – Shocking Pictures Emerge As Lovely Cows Competition Takes Centre Stage

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We’ve all seen the shocking pictures posted online in the last week, of Simon Cowell with his shirt undone. At the London premiere of the new blockbuster, One Direction’s film – in which they learn the hand L trick to tell left and right – Simon certainly showed us more than we needed to see, much like the now eponymous “Slane pics”.

In fact, unbeknownst to the popular press, all eyes were on the Lovely Cows this week, no that’s not a typo. The Lovely Cows competition in Cavan is by far superior to The Rose of Tralee, judging, as it does, the loveliest of cows. How do you judge a lovely cow? NIB hears you ask, on “dairyness” and “femininity”. And there’s you thinking it was just about their pretty faces. Oh no. They’re talented bovines, reciting Irish poems and performing traditional dance, it’s a wonder it isn’t televised. Continue reading

News in Brief – Photocopy murder? Best leave It To The Gardaí

"You're not in America now, sonny."

“You’re not in America now, sonny jim.”

Apparently 25 per cent of us fear being found out as lacking at work. Many of those suggesting accidentally viewing porn or something us NSFW (not safe for work) is their biggest fear. Eight per cent, according to the report in The Sun, think the photocopier is out to get them. Oh dear.

People “shouldn’t be mucking around in Garda business”. This isn’t film noir, it’s Noonan. Far away on the L.A. suburbs familiar to detective novels the Gardai are apparently having their evidence fiddled with, causing problems in court. Enter Noonan, he was a quiet man, a maverick, some call him crazy, some call him . . . other things. Passing comment in relation to the Anglo Tapes being leaked to the press he said: “The Gardai are the ones who investigate crime in this country”. Good to know of course but not exactly the narrative of a great crime thriller.

Continue reading

News in Brief-Ireland Set For Scum Town As Quinn’s Daughter Loses Her Memory

Aoife-QuinnCounty Clare may soon boast the first Irish “scum town” following the introduction of similar in Amsterdam. The idea was mooted by Fine Gael Councilor Joe Arkins at a council meeting on Monday. “It sounds drastic but we are at a stage where something drastic must be done” Arkins said. These villages of the damned would house anti-social neighbours together until eventually they unite, rise up and kill us all. Continue reading

The World Reacts As Ireland Stays True To Drink Culture

img2The story about Councillors in Kerry wanting to allow elderly citizens to drive after a few drinks has been met with a slew of criticism. The motion was put forward by Danny Healy-Rae, who thinks that older people in rural Ireland are becoming increasingly isolated; his solution? Allow them to still frequent the local watering hole so they don’t miss out on social interaction, and let them drive home after a few pints. Continue reading

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