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Posts Tagged ‘ sex ’

A Year in Brief: Part Two

sineadandmiley

Part two of NIB’s yearly round-up because 2013 was just too good! (Read part one here).

Dublin’s new bridge, crossing the Liffey at Marlborough Street and connecting Luas lines on each side of the river, was on the lookout for a name. A list of 85 possibilities was suggested by the public which was then shortlisted by Dublin City Council to 17. Some suggestions in a comments thread on The Times website included: Bosco Bridge; Daniel Day Luas Bridge (nice); Da Plain People O’Ireland Bridge; Jedward Bridge; and NIB favourite, the Feckin’ Bridge. Continue reading

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A Year in Brief: Part One

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What a year it’s been; Hitler birthday cakes, mutant rats, and Bob Geldof off to space! To celebrate the end of another 365 days here are some of NIB’s favourite stories of the year.

Kicking off the year in festive spirit a man in Derry was fined after stealing a CCTV camera which “became his friend”. Police found Peter Morrison, 24, drunk and “petting” the camera as they arrived to arrest him. CCTV pets are for life not just for Christmas. Continue reading

News in Brief- Irish Emigrants Blamed For STD Influx In NZ

irishAlan Shatter is in trouble this week for apparently offending ‘old’ prostitutes. Honestly, the man has experienced anti-semitic hatred and cruel personal jibes recently and then he goes and calls prostitutes working in Ireland ‘old’. Actually, the story is not quite as clear-cut as tabloid headlines would have us believe, SHOCK and AWE. He wasn’t calling all prostitutes old, just some.

Our international reputation isn’t doing so well either after an article in the New York Times has caused uproar, depicting life in post-Tiger Ireland. According to the piece produced by Liz Alderman, there’s a man in Shankill in Dublin who shoots and BBQ’s pigeons to survive. The story has met widespread disapproval from locals and councillors of Shankill alike; Fine Gael TD Mary Mitchell O’Connor said she rejects the description of the town and the main subject of the article, who used to own boats and a five-bedroom house and now resorts to pigeon shooting on the street to survive. NIB isn’t sure, perhaps Shankill is the social equivalent of Mordor, I mean American’s don’t normally exaggerate do they? Continue reading

News in Brief – Top College Unveils “Sex Toy” Sculpture

sculpture

Apparently we’re all €100,000 better off, on paper (NIB is actually €3 gazillion better off on this if you print off this bit of paper), due to the rise in property prices. It’s all fictional, like the figures banks trade in every day, which in reality is made up of much more meagre funds, and they’re ours. But anyway, it’s good news!

A man has been banned from every pub in Dublin, after being picked up by Gardai for being drunk and disorderly. This story is not to be confused with the Bertie bashing last week, when former Taoiseach Ahern was given a whack round the earlobes by another punter with a crutch. Although perhaps banning Bertie from every pub in Dublin would prevent similar problems in the future. Just an idea. Continue reading

News in Brief-President Called “Acknowledged Homosexual” As Jedward Return

Olympic TorchSilly season hasn’t quite got underway with enough speed this year. NIB wants false accusations of homosexuality, sex-fetish filled Ireland and Jedward to do something stupid! Oh wait . . .

Who knew Michael D was an “acknowledged homosexual”? Not even Michael D himself, must have come as quite a surprise to his wife and four kids. American ’Forbes’ magazine was forced to issue an apology after a piece claimed Higgins was a massive gay boy. They weren’t exactly their words. Michael D wasn’t bothered though, because he’s a massive legend, he just got on with this week’s engagements. How would Enda react to similar claims NIB wonders? Continue reading

News in Brief-Sex On The Beach In Donegal As Fallen Popstar Keating Charges €368 For Meet And Greet

showbiz_ronan_keatingAs if the health service didn’t have it tough enough now University Hospital Galway has fleas! A number of staff have been bitten by the infiltrating pests which hospital management assured had not affected patients. However fleas will be the least of the HSE’s problems with a new report highlighting the rise in life expectancy of the population. We may be living longer but we are apparently spending more of our lives sick or injured. Or soon, at work.

Minister of State for Older People Kathleen Lynch has suggested the Government will raise the age of retirement as part of their “positive ageing” strategy. News in Brief isn’t sure it’s to positive, fancy working at Maccy D’s into your seventies?

The pope is one pensioner still going. This week he has even started tweeting. Yes, Pope Benedict XIV is on Twitter, really. Providing us with 140 character insights into his day in Vatican City and so far gaining a million followers. Sure wouldn’t the good lord himself have recognised the growing importance of social media for brand image. If you fancy a follow he’s @Pontifex .

Bundoran in Donegal has always been popular with tourists because of its stretch of beautiful beaches. It seems however there are a new type of visitor to the coast line, an Easter European gang selling the services of prostitutes. Guards were alerted after a number of men were given calling cards by women offering a range of services. Gives a whole new meaning to sex on the beach.

Crap news in Galway where City Council officials had their fleet of eight bin trucks repossessed. The trucks were on loan from Holden Plant Hire in Kilkenny but their lease expired last September. Despite repeated warnings from Holden the vehicles were not returned. Fine Gael councillor Padraig Connelly described the incident as “incompetence on top of incompetence”, News in Brief calls it rubbish.

In celeb news it’s Ronan’s all round. Ronan O’Gara was a named as one of a plethora of high-profile people who conveniently had driving penalty points “disappeared” by the gardai. It’s alright though Justice Minister Alan Shatter said, he was one of less than 300 similar incidents.

The other Ronan, Keating that is, is charging fans €368 to meet him after some of his concerts. Obviously recession means nothing to Ronan despite his last album Fires not sparking much interest selling only 181 copies in the first few days though. He’s one up with a plan to post ticket sales though, he will be accompanied on tour by everyone’s favourite Westlife botherer Brian McFadden! That would be €368 well spent, on anything else.

We’ve struck gold down here in Wexford! A Dublin based mineral exploration firm has found a stash that could be worth millions. The location however has not been disclosed. You’ll understand if you don’t hear from News in Brief for a while I’m just going outside . . .

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